The Past, The Present, and the Future

These past few weeks have been enough to make all of us, even the most unsuspecting, reflect on life.  We all have that common denominator called life. We all have a past. We all are living in the present and we all have a future.

Reflecting on life makes you realize how difficult it can be. In fact, for me, if I had a crystal ball and could look into the future, I would have said, “No.” to a lot of it   For every joy in life there is that counter emotion of pain.  Gravity is there to knock you down at any given moment.  But I am an optimist.  I look at the glass half full.  I really and truly believe that it is better to hope than to live in discouragement and fear.

You and I have both lost loved ones.  We all  have been disappointed at times and we all have suffered.  We all have been betrayed at one moment or another. But..we, also, have loved and been loved, triumphed, and had those friends who are loyal and steadfast.

Tonight, let us reflect on the past and be grateful for it, for it has formed us into who we are.  Let us take in the present because at this moment, it is all we have.  Let us look forward to the future because when we look to the future we always hope.

If the question was ever asked, “What is the best way to have the life you hope for and desire to attain?”  I would thoughtfully reply, “Do not lose hope. Never give up. The bumps in the road may make you trip and you may even fall.  But get back up. Dust yourself off and keep on going.  Because life is there for you and has been given to you as a gift. The path you are following may twist and turn and you may even come to the fork in the road where you may have to make a choice.  Make that choice and don’t look back.  The choice may be right, it may be wrong. But, it is yours to embrace not to regret. Even if it was wrong, it can be made right and that, my friend, is the beauty of life.

Don’t regret your past. Live in the present.  And the future? Do not be afraid. Embrace it. Look forward to it. Hope for it.  For this is our common thread. May your future be all you’ve ever dreamed it could be.  May your life leave all those around you blessed. And most of all, may we all have gratitude. May we have gratitude for of the blessings and, yes, even have gratitude for the pain.

One of my favorite forums has a Wednesday shoutout.  We say hello, we say what our week has been like, what we are planning for the future, what we are doing, all in support of our lives as mothers, and as wives.  Here’s mine this week…a little late because it is Saturday, of course;)

 

It felt like spring but then snow was dumped on Vermont. I can’t help but think how beautiful it is! 

School is going well and we haven’t had the winter doldrums. Our 9 year old and I are reading the Betsy-Tacy books out loud. What a treat! 

All Creatures Great and Small by Herriot is my evening enjoyment…it is funny and Herriot is just so charming. 

Our 17 year old enrolled in Seton English this past fall and doing well! I guess I underestimated what we’ve done on our own. 

Our 13 year old is writing a book. She’s on chapter 9 and been writing it since the fall. We listened to her read it by candle light and we all are enjoying it! 

The marsh behind our house was frozen for several weeks which provided ice skating enjoyment for all 5 of our kids, cousins, and friends. 

Morning enjoyment is listening to John Michael Talbot while organizing the day…it’s so prayerful…what peace it brings to my soul. 

I hope I’m doing this Wednesday thing properly. I know, it’s Saturday…but last Wednesday I was just so pooped that I called off school and did nothing. One of my sons asked me if I was o.k. because I was in bed reading all day. I said, “Why do you think I’m not o.k.?” And he replied, “Because you never do this!” I said, “Exactly, that’s why I’m doing it!” 

Thriving or Surviving?

This week I was struck by a video that one of our boys showed me. It was a talk by Sir Kenneth Robinson.  It got me to thinking about life, parenting, and well…our children.  You may want to think about this, too.  Are your children thriving or are they just surviving?  And what makes each and every one of us thrive?  First, let’s take a look at its definition.

Thrive- (intransitive verb) 1. To make steady progress;prosper.  2. To grow vigorously; flourish.

First when you are  looking at your child (or yourself for that matter), look at them as a whole person. I think so many times we just look at one part of a person. What are their grades?  Or what is their educational background?  What are their goals?  And if the goal isn’t going to make enough money or doesn’t impress people socially, then many times it is often discouraged.

So let’s start with our children. What are their interests?  And more importantly, what are their passions?  It is so important to realize those things about your child or about yourself.  What makes you happy?  Is it math? Great! Is it writing stories? Wonderful! Is is acting? Beautiful!

All of these interests are equal in value.  What a dull world we would live in if the interests of everybody were the same!  Not only should we accept the uniqueness of each child but we should also embrace it!

With home education, we have it so easy. I remember years ago when the boys were little. Every day they would come downstairs to do their school work but would be dressed up in some sort of costume.  Forrest was famous for this one! He’d come downstairs in either a cape or a dinosaur costume and he wouldn’t answer to his name, only to the character he was playing.

There definitely was a compromise: You get your school done but be whoever you want to be while you are doing it.  For us, that equalled a win-win situation.

Letting our children acquire some freedom to be who they are while having to conform just a bit really helps.

A while back, I wrote that our teens need just as much attention as they did when they were toddlers!

How do we move from that toddler stage to the young adult stage with our children?

Listen to them. No, I mean really listen to them.  Don’t try to change them, encourage them.  Don’t put conditions on your love, love them unconditionally. Look at them through the eyes of love.

This morning I woke up to lovely crocuses blooming in the snow!  They were thriving in not so gentle conditions.  Our children are so like those crocuses.  They are strong but at the same time fragile.

Let us teach them to love themselves and to love those around them by our example.  Let us as parents not merely survive, but thrive.  Let’s not just try to get through the day, but take in every moment whether good or bad. We have heard many times this scripture quoted to our children: “You children obey your parents in everything as the acceptable way of the Lord.”(Eph. 3:20)  But let us not forget the second part of that scripture: “And fathers, do not nag your children lest they lose heart.” (Eph. 3:21)

May we never be the cause of one to lose heart. Whatever the outside conditions may be, let us decide today “to make steady progress and to prosper, to grow vigorously, and to flourish.”

Here are some wonderful tips to get started on thriving:

http://portjefferson.patch.com/blog_posts/20-ways-to-thrive-in-life-and-not-just-survive

 

When Did We Get So Damn Uptight?

Yesterday, I had the benefit of being a chaperone at a play rehearsal. The kids were mostly teens.  There were excited about being interviewed at a local TV show.  The excitement steadily built as we proceeded to the theater for rehearsal.

Some of the kids were not in scenes for a while so they were hanging out in the halls listening to iPods, talking, running lines, doing homework.  I was asked to bring the kids back into the theater by another parent because she thought they were being rowdy.

I got out there and all I saw was the beauty of youth. The beauty of being free to laugh,  to tell jokes, to unwind from being cooped up in school all day. ( Yeah, I said it. No tomatoes please!)

I said to one young man, “What are you listening to on your iPod?”

He looked at me like he was doing something wrong and then said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll shut it off.” In fact every kid in the hall looked like I thought they were doing something wrong!

I said, “No! Don’t shut it off. I love that song!”

He looked at me with surprise! He couldn’t believe I wanted to hear his play list.

When did we get so damn uptight? We wonder why our teens don’t talk to us.  We wonder why they don’t listen.

Well, I sure enjoyed those kids. I didn’t bring them back into the theater.  After all, I wasn’t breaking any rules either. They weren’t needed on stage and they are going to need to know how to hang out in that very spot during the play performances.

So here’s the gift during my evening.  I loved hearing the boy get so animated about his playlist on his iPod (which was all classical rock by the way) and how he and his dad, yeah that’s right, his dad, jam together.  I loved hearing a girl talk about her math class.  Oh, and there was a Burnham fan there that I didn’t realize was at the Allstar Weekend/Burnham show.  I enjoyed even watching a cart-wheel. (Oopsy, my bad.)

We need to stop looking at our kids like they are about to do something wrong.  We need to give them a little credit.

A parent walked in to pick up one of his kids at the end of the evening and believe me, it was a long evening and in the hallway there was a young couple hugging.  I said, “I need to sign your child out. I’m the chaperone today.”

He looked at the couple in the hall and said, “Are you chaperoning those two? I said, “Yeah.”

Then he said a very cool thing. “We were young once, remember?”

I smiled to myself. “Yeah, I do.”

So, quit being so damn uptight. You were young once, remember?

 

 

Abracadabra...Talents

Reblogged from jvcarrwriterauthor:

Talents, talents, everywhere there are talents. My last two posts showcase artistic talents, Burnham music and my daughter's drawing. When you possess an artistic talent, it's visible. You can sit back, relax, and watch someone sing from their heart and soul, or dance so beautifully, it looks like a dream. You can gaze upon an exquisite painting, or snuggle up with a good book.

Read more… 71 more words

Yes, when you tap into your talents, it feels like whoosh....MAGIC!

Songwriting…How Do They Do It?

If you’re a band or a single artist, songwriting will be at the top of your list. For Burnham, these questions are frequently asked:  Who does the songwriting in the band?  How does it start? Does somebody write the lyrics? Who comes up with the melody?  Who lays the tracks in your studio?  How much time do you spend on a particular song?

First of all, let me start by saying that it all begins with atmosphere.  From the beginning, the boys have always had a space to create music.  Before there was any recording done, there was always a rehearsal place.

Then, there has to be inspiration.  There really are so many things to write about. But more importantly you’ll want to record everything and not have that flow interrupted.

The way the boys song write is different each time.  It’s like watching a machine work together with all of the parts moving.  You can never know where it begins or where the movement ends.  For me, each time a creation is made it feels like magic.

There are a limited amount of notes but what you can do with them is endless.

Songs come from all three of the boys.  Each at different moments come up with melodies, top-lines, lyrics, and tracks.  But during the creation of each song, each member has his own forte.  Each band member knows the other’s strengths and is glad of it.  Interaction, discussions, conversation between the members is not only necessary but also a must.

A song is rarely finished in one fell swoop.  It may take months. Someone in the band may say, “I don’t like those lyrics.” Or…”We need to recut those vocals we did 4 months ago.”  Or…”That track is too sluggish, let’s lay a new one!”

But here is the one thing that always remains the same for every song.  There is always that intimate moment when it is first created whether at the piano or at the guitar.

On Forrest’s birthday, while family was sitting around our living room, Andre sat at the piano and started writing a song.  Very nonchalantly, Forrest chimed in with a bit of a melody, making up words that made no sense because at that point the words do not matter.  They will come later.  At that moment it is pure enjoyment. It is music only and nothing else. It is only a spark of a future song but it is a spark that will set the fire going.

Songwriting…How Do They Do It?  It doesn’t start out as songwriting. It’s just music…pure music… and nothing else.

More Than You’ll Ever Know

In the wake of the tragic shooting in Connecticut, it is hard to celebrate life. It feels almost unsympathetic to embrace the joyful parts of my life with the tugging in that corner of my heart…that particular place where sorrow abounds….a dull ache in my chest as I watch such beautiful children in our community dance across the stage in the timeless musical, “Annie”.  The truth is…we are all connected.

Nothing can be closer to that truth as you look at life. For us, the most magical part of our journey has been that connection to each and every person we meet.  It’s as if we were all meant to connect.  For us, we never knew it would feel this way.  We didn’t know how fully blessed we would feel each time we would see each face…and that we would remember…remember the face…even the names.

How is it that we could start out in this little town in Vermont just wanting to play a little music and from there grow into a widespread family?  Grateful.  We are so grateful.  And so this holiday season our wish for you is to have JOY.  Joy in knowing that you have touched us more than you could ever really know.

May you always light a candle in the darkness.

Peace,

Marianne

On Performing Locally

Our Lily at a local TV interview talking about playing Miss Hannigan in “Annie”.  (Seated in chair in middle with purple sweater.)

Remember way back when I blogged about where to start if your passion is performing..whether singing, acting, or playing an instrument?  Start local. Yep.

There is no better way then to take advantage of the resources around you.  You’ll be the student.  You’ll gain confidence.  You’ll develop your skill and grow in leaps and bounds.  You’ll gain experience.  You’ll get to know the ups and the downs.  You’ll get to know what a bad day feels like and what a good day feels like.  You’ll meet others who are just as passionate as you are and you’ll learn from them.  Yes, you will always want to be the student!

I cannot begin to express to you the importance of connecting with those resources around you.  It is the best start.  Locally, you will learn about yourself.  You will learn about your strengths and weaknesses and it will be a safe place to realize who you are as a performer!

But most of all remember to have fun!  The stage is a place where you will bring joy to yourself and to others and there’s no better place to start then at home.

“I worked with my parents on the stage in production numbers since I was 4, but I never really gave much thought to being a performer on my own until I was 12 or 13.”

-Helen Reddy

On Fire

Everyday when I walk by this habanero plant in our window, it makes me think of that song, “This Girl is on Fire”.  And then I think, “Wow, this house is on fire!”  Not literally, but figuratively, of course.  There is no lack of inspiration here: fingers flying across computer keyboards, stories being written, fingers tickling those Kanabe piano keys, voices ringing throughout the house.  Yes, all seven of us sing.  And along with inspiration, comes joy, joy in knowing that you can create.  Then seven people giggle and laugh.  Seven people tell jokes.  Seven people.  Seven people who remind me of those red and orange peppers dangling from that  bush ready to be picked…and on fire.

“Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.”-Terry Pratchett

For Now…

Has it really been over a month since I have written a post?  While entertaining children has been our theme at home as usual, I have chosen not write or to be on the internet too frequently.

Instead,  for now, I have been taking things in: spending time with our kids, listening to what they have to say, watching what they do, and digesting all that we have been doing together as a family whether lately or over these past years.

I have taken the time to cook and plan meals for our family’s health. ( I have not enjoyed cooking so much in years!)  I have taken time to work with the girls for their audition for the play “Annie” which they both did  end up making which has brought so much joy to our lives already!  Who wouldn’t laugh at Lily’s rendition of Miss Hannigan or melt with Molly’s “Mama, Mama, Mommy!”?  I have taken the time to appreciate the days that my husband has had at home (finally) knowing that the future will bring him out on the road again.  I have embraced the time our boys are home listening to their comical conversations, enjoying golf tournaments (Yes, I proudly watched Andre on the fairway. Apparently he has the moves like Jagger.)  And the music?… oh so much music!

A few nights ago, Grandma and I joyfully took our seats  in the studio to hear, yet, another song that was written and recorded last week, and I couldn’t help but dance to it and I don’t think Grandma could sit still either!

Speaking of Grandma, we had what our family calls “The Great Fall Feast” (her invention) that happens annually around sometime in October. And…we couldn’t have the feast without Waldorf Salad inspired by Andre’s rendition of an old British sitcom, “Fawlty Towers”, where an American and his British wife stop at the dumpy hotel wanting a  late evening meal in “I Want a Waldorf Salad”.

We’ve made fairy gardens, played Yatzee, taken many trips to the library and local bookstore.  Life feels normal, well normal for around here.  I still have to go to the library with the girls when the boys are working on music. I guess the volume has to be on ten while playing tracks or vocals back…even I have to agree with that one!

I have welcomed those moments when the boys have asked my opinion on their songs, their vocals, the lyrics, the technique, leaving me completely amazed that at their age they even care what I think!  I know it will not always be this way huddled so close in this cozy think tank.  So for now… I’m taking it all in, for now…I’m pondering it all in my heart. For now…